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When Perfectionism Becomes Pathological

By Jennifer Bews

Perfectionism. It’s long been thought of as the goal for excellence. But do perfectionists achieve their goals? Many will argue that perfectionism in every area of our lives is simply unattainable. Whether it’s perfect parenting, a perfect appearance or a perfect career, the list is endless and consistently out of reach. What many scholars are finding is that perfectionism can quickly become pathological.

Whether we strive for perfection in our family life, workplace (home or office), or in that of our appearance the effects tend to show up the same—an anxious society.

Josh Cohen (The Economist, 2021) a psychoanalyst and professor of modern literary theory at Goldsmiths, University of London believes that constant self-critique can get in the way of practical action and lead you to miss out on living your life. Curran and Hill (2017) also studied the rise of perfectionism which in their view has resulted in increasingly anxious and controlling parenting practices which in turn puts increase pressure on our children.

So how do we loosen the grip of an anxious mind? Dr. Stanley Kutcher, a psychiatrist at Dalhousie University who specializes in anxiety among adolescents, insists that anxiety is not something to feel threatened by but to embrace and be seen as an internal encouragement. It is his opinion that the lesson that fails to be taught is that anxiety is a gift inherited from our ancestors to protect us from threat and to kick-start ambition. “Anxiety is a driver for skill development, it’s a driver for adaptability” (as cited in Anderssen, 2013).

And so, the lesson to be learned here is to smile at those desires to be perfect and just show up anyway…flaws and all. Just do the dang thing…no need for perfection. You might just find your life is worth enjoying in this very moment.

References

Anderssen, E. (2013, January 21). Why are today’s teenagers feeling so anxious? The Globe and Mail. Retrieved from https://www.theglobe andmail.com/life/health-and-fitness/health/conditions/why-are-todays- teenagers-feeling-so-anxious/article7604612/

Cohen, Josh. (2021, August 10). The perfectionism trap. The Economist. Retrieved from https://www.economist.com/1843/2021/08/10/the-perfectionism-trap

Curran, T., & Hill, A. P. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145(4), 410–429

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