Parenting can feel like a high-stakes balancing act, especially when it comes to managing our own emotions while supporting our kids. I recently listened to an episode of the Huberman Lab podcast, Dr. Andrew Huberman sat down with Dr. Becky Kennedy—a clinical psychologist and parenting expert—to explore how we can overcome guilt and help both kids and adults build tenacity.
I’d like to share with you all some of the key takeaways from their conversation, along with some practical tips for parents:
Understanding and Managing Guilt
Guilt is an emotion many parents know well. Dr. Kennedy explained that guilt often arises when our actions don’t align with our values. Instead of letting it weigh us down, we can view guilt as a signpost—an opportunity to reflect, adjust, and move closer to our values. For example, if you feel guilty about yelling at your child, take a moment to understand why it happened and consider how to approach the situation differently next time (I know I certainly could work on this technique)
Helping Kids Build Frustration Tolerance
Life is full of challenges, and one of the greatest gifts we can give our children is the ability to handle frustration. Dr. Kennedy emphasized that frustration tolerance is key to developing resilience. This means letting kids sit with discomfort and figure out solutions on their own rather than stepping in too quickly to “rescue” them.
For instance, if your child is struggling with a puzzle, resist the urge to finish it for them. Instead, offer encouragement and let them work through the challenge. They’ll not only gain confidence but also learn that persistence pays off.
The Power of Empathy
Empathy is at the heart of strong relationships. Dr. Kennedy defined it as noticing and caring about someone’s feelings without taking on responsibility for them. For parents, this means acknowledging our kids’ emotions without jumping straight into problem-solving mode.
If your child is upset about a fight with a friend, try saying, “That sounds really hard. I’m here if you want to talk about it.” This validates their feelings while empowering them to take the lead in finding a solution.
Practical Tips for Everyday Parenting
Dr. Kennedy shared some actionable strategies that parents can start using right away:
- Talk About Emotions Normalize emotions by talking about them openly. This helps kids understand their feelings and builds emotional intelligence. For example, you might say, “I’m feeling frustrated right now because I’m running late, but I’m working on staying calm.”
- Repair After Mistakes Mistakes are inevitable—what matters is how we handle them. If you lose your temper, model accountability by apologizing and explaining how you’ll try to do better next time. This teaches kids that it’s okay to make mistakes and that repairing relationships is part of life.
- Prioritize Your Own Well-Being Parenting is easier when we’re not running on empty. Make time for self-care, whether it’s a walk, a hobby, or simply a few minutes of quiet. A well-rested and emotionally balanced parent is better equipped to support their child.
The lessons from this podcast aren’t just for kids—they’re for us adults too. By managing guilt, developing resilience, and practicing empathy, we can create a family culture that thrives on connection and growth. Remember, parenting isn’t about being perfect; it’s about showing up, learning, and growing together.
For more insights, check out the full podcast episode: Overcoming Guilt & Building Tenacity in Kids & Adults
Until next time,
Sonya
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