The Cross & Cleaver. Where Heaven Meets Earth: The Bathroom Break
The bathroom break or mindlessly perusing the service bulletin.
Have you ever suffered from writer’s block or a mental block? I’m sure you have—I have one now. And I thought of a way to get past it that doesn’t involve Nicole, the magazine’s editor, “warming up” one of my older articles. So, I thought of a moment like that in worship or at dinner. How do you take a break to get your mind back on track?
In a restaurant—I go to the bathroom.
At church, if I’m attending—I go to the bathroom (if I sit in the last pew).
Otherwise, or if I’m leading—I take a mental break during a hymn or a longer pause during a sermon. Long enough to recover, but not long enough to make people wonder if I forgot what to say or that I can’t read my own writing.
Same with the bathroom break—make sure it’s not so long that a wellness check is called for. 😉
So, I’m taking a break by recalling and sharing some random church- and food-related thoughts. I might repeat myself… sorry.
1) Tapping into your child’s imagination can help solve fussiness problems.
Telling children that Brussels sprouts are, in fact, Martian brains will likely make the boys devour them, while the girls will probably never touch them again. They’re also not likely to forgive you… ever.
2) When facing a foreign or difficult word in the Bible, read it loud, read it fast, and with conviction.
Chances are, nobody knows any better anyway.
3) Exotic, imaginative, or foreign language descriptions will be remembered, and food will likely be eaten.
While potato-leek soup might seem delicious but boring, there are rarely any leftovers in a tureen of Vichyssoise.
When Umberto Eco, in his book How to Travel with a Salmon, describes a salad as:
“Macédoine of laitue lombarde, dotted with rughetta from Piemont, finely chopped and dressed with sea salt, marinated in balsamic vinegar of the house, anointed with first-pressing virgin olive oil from Umbria.”
…I feel underdressed and not worthy to eat it.
If I serve you a garden mix salad with olive oil and vinegar dressing, you’ll forget you ate it by dessert time.
4) An American theologian I deeply admire once said:
“Jesus is Lord and everything else is bull***t.”
The simplicity and richness of that statement appeal to me in both my theological work and in the kitchen.
From a food perspective, I’d say: Don’t overcomplicate things, and if possible, share the meal with someone.
Well, I’m hungry, so how about some quick and easy pasta?
Cook your favorite pasta al dente—mine is spaghetti. Once in the bowl, dress it with one of the following:
A healthy glug of olive oil, salt, pepper, a few chili flakes, and a generous dose of finely shredded Parmesan or Grana Padano.
Beurre noisette (transl. hazelnut butter): On low heat, melt a generous amount of butter, stirring frequently as it foams (4-5 min). The fat and milk solids will start gathering at the bottom and turning brown. When it reaches a golden-brown color, take it off the heat and pour it all over the pasta. Add a generous squeeze of lemon juice or a generous handful of crumbled feta cheese.
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