There’s a familiar phrase that still echoes through family gatherings, restaurants, and quiet public spaces: “Children should be seen and not heard.” It’s an idea rooted in generations past, particularly among the baby boomer era, where obedience, quietness, and composure were often equated with being a “good” child. But as society evolves, so too must our understanding of what it means to raise emotionally healthy, confident, and expressive children.
Today, many parents are pushing back against the notion that children must conform to adult expectations of behavior—especially in spaces where their natural energy, curiosity, and volume are deemed inappropriate. I’ve felt it firsthand—at family events or dinners where the room stiffens if my toddler starts singing loudly or another one of my children bursts into giggles. There’s this unspoken pressure to hush, redirect, or apologize on behalf of your child for simply… being a child.
But here’s the thing: Children are not miniature adults. They are learners, explorers, boundary-testers, and emotional feelers. Their loud laughter, repeated questions, or wiggly bodies aren’t signs of disrespect or poor parenting—they are signs of development. Expecting toddlers to be quiet and still for hours is like asking the sun not to shine. It’s unrealistic and, more importantly, it denies them the space to be authentic.
We need to change the narrative.
Children should be welcome in our lives as they are—not as polite, quiet versions that make adults more comfortable. Of course, guidance and boundaries are necessary. But so is understanding. If a toddler is melting down at a family event, it doesn’t mean the parents have failed; it means the child is overwhelmed or tired or overstimulated. These are not moments of shame—they are opportunities for compassion.
Let’s shift our focus from expecting perfection to fostering connection. Instead of shushing or shaming, let’s teach by example. Let’s show our kids that emotions are valid, that mistakes are part of learning, and that they don’t need to shrink themselves to be accepted. And just as importantly, let’s ask our older generations to meet us halfway—to see that this newer parenting approach isn’t about being lax or indulgent, but about raising emotionally intelligent, resilient kids.
When we create environments where children are respected as full humans—even in their messiest, loudest, most curious moments—we’re not just raising better kids. We’re raising better future adults.
Until next time,
Sonya
Google Play and the Google Play logo are trademarks of Google LLC.
