How to Really Listen
Have you ever said hello to someone and they replied something completely different?
Can you honestly say that you are a good listener and that you always hear everything that someone says to you? Are you so busy thinking up a reply in your head that you end up missing something? Many of us are so wrapped up in our thoughts in our heads that we miss the real conversation. Why do we do that? Are we impatient to make a reply? Do we not want to talk/listen to that person?
The best way to avoid embarrassing moments and awkward conversations, especially in business, is to listen actively; with both ears. Try to pay attention when someone needs to vent or feels the need to talk about something important to them.
How does one listen actively? Try and focus all your attention on the other person. Don’t just listen with your ears. Use your eyes as well. Reading body language is just as important as the words being spoken. Show that person that you’re involved in the conversation—use gestures, nods, vocalization, lean forward and make eye contact.
If the other speaker says something you do not understand, stop the conversation and ask for clarification. Nothing is more maddening than thinking what you heard was not what was actually said. Make every effort to verify what you heard. Let that person/customer know that you care about them and what they are saying.
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Don’t you just hate it when what you say goes in one ear and right out the other? And you can see it happening! You can see they have zoned you out. You feel like the other person doesn’t seem to care what you are saying. Can you image a customer trying to tell a shop owner about a problem and he doesn’t seem to care about what you’re saying? How long before you quit shopping with that business?
Maybe you can’t solve all the world’s problems, but you can be a good friend and a good listener. Being a better listener can help you in all areas of your life, both personal and business. How many arguments could be avoided if both people would listen to the other? You don’t want to blow a business deal because you aren’t paying attention to your customers. One of the keys to great communication is the ability to not just listen, but to listen well and to understand.
Listening is a skill that can and must be learned in business and in life. Many miscommunications will be avoided. Try it out!
Kevin Martin
Executive Director Kindersley’s Chamber of Commerce
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