By Joan Janzen
A funny comment on social media, said “Does anybody need any feelings? I have too many and they’re just gonna go bad.”
It’s not always easy for people to generate positive feelings, except for one day … Thanksgiving, when most people give it a shot. In spite of challenging circumstances, and loads of negative information we hear every day, one day is set aside to be grateful.
You would think someone like Helen Keller, who was deaf, blind and mute, would find it difficult to find something to be thankful about. Nevertheless, she said, “So much has been given to me, I have not time to ponder over that which has been denied. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” Those are amazing words coming from an individual who lived in a dark and silent world.
During WWII, Corrie ten Boom and her sister were imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp. There was little reason to be thankful, but Corrie’s sister, Betsie, insisted they continue to be grateful, even in their horrific circumstances. However, Corrie could not agree with her sister, when Betsie decided they should be grateful for their flea infested barracks.
Their guards would enter the women’s barracks and assault them in the middle of the night. But over the next several months Corrie and Betsie noticed the guards never entered their barracks at night. Later on they discovered the guards stayed away because of the fleas.
Corrie had every reason to be resentful instead of grateful, but she realized forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment. Forgiveness ensured all her feelings “didn’t go bad”, but instead could be transformed into gratitude.
The actor Sidney Poitier passed away in 2022. The poor son of a tomato farmer was the first black male to win an Academy Award. When he started his career he said, “I was the only black person on the set. It was unusual for me to be in a circumstance in which every move I made was tantamount to representation of 18 million people.”
Along the way he learned some valuable lessons. “I’ve learned that I must find positive outlets for anger or it will destroy me. It reaches such intensity that to express it fully would require homicidal rage, and its flame burns because the world is so unjust. I have to try to find a way to channel that anger to the positive, and the highest positive is forgiveness,” he explained.
Forgiveness begins the process whereby negative emotions can be transformed into gratitude. Jordan Peterson, a Canadian clinical psychologist, offered an explanation. “Gratitude is an antidote to resentment and bitterness and a manifestation of a life affirming courage. Gratitude is the process of consciously and courageously attempting thankfulness in the face of the catastrophe of life.”
Dr. Caroline Leaf, PhD and communication pathologist and cognitive neuroscientist, has written many books during her thirty years of research and study. She notes gratitude can increase our imagination, ability to solve problems, as well as increase our longevity.
She explains that it infuses hope throughout the whole mind-brain-body connection by balancing our brain waves across the left and right side of the brain, allowing for the optimal neurochemical flow of dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and anandamide. This leads to the ability to bounce back quicker during hard times, and helps achieve success in all areas of life.
While we all manage to conjure up something to be grateful about on Thanksgiving, Dr. Leaf suggests a better option. She explained it takes 63 days to change the way we think. “This means if we practice gratitude every day for at least nine weeks, we can establish a “gratitude mindset”, which can make the many beneficial effects of gratitude a more sustainable part of our life.”
People like Helen Keller, Corrie ten Boom, and Sidney Poitier proved it’s possible. Each one had every reason to have all their feelings go bad, but they chose gratitude instead. And their overcoming life stories are still remembered today.
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